Light My Fire
by Sweet Cadbury
Summary: Can Himeno help Goh find the courage to confess his love for Kei? What will happen when he DOES confess?
1. Uncertain Flame

"Light My Fire"

Author's Note: Ahhh.. at long last. Finishing up my little Kei x Goh trilogy thing (Sequel to "Comfort" and "The Naming Ceremony"). And wow... it's NOT a one-shot! It's multichapter! GASP!

This ficcy is no-holds-barred shounen-ai! ::throws confetti in the air::.....So... if that sort of thing bothers you, stay away. There are lots of good non-shounen-ai Pretear fics on , after all. ï Since the first two stories were told from Kei and Goh's perspectives, I decided to do the last one in third-person. Oh, and this takes place a little more than two years after the end of the series, just FYI. Rating is PG-13 for future suggestive scenes.

Oh, and I had a co-pilot on this magic carpet ride this time around... my delightful younger sibling, Blitzkrieg9688... she provided many lines to get me going again when I was stuck. Read her fic "Reflets Sombres"!! She only has the first two chapters up, but the fic will be worth harassing her to finish it, trust me! And there is lots of Kei/Goh goodness in it, too...

Anyhoo! On with the fic!

Chapter One: Uncertain Flame

Summer sunlight streamed down through the leaves of the trees planted along the street, creating speckled patterns on the tabletops of the outdoor café. The days were not yet so hot that the restaurant needed to roll out the overhangs to make shade for the customers, and the light was like a comforting pat on the back from an old friend.

At least, that was how it felt for everyone else sitting on the diner's patio. Goh squirmed uncomfortably in his chair, tugging repeatedly at his bow-tie. He was on a break, but not long enough of a break to warrant changing out of his uniform. Himeno sat across from him, looking content with both the weather and life in general. The gigantic slab of chocolate cake in front of her certainly didn't hurt her mood, either. The summer breeze rustled her rose-pink hair and caused the yellow ribbons she had run through the tresses, the same ribbons which adorned the straps of her sun-dress, to flutter gaily in the air around her, giving her an almost pixie-like appearance.

"So... what was it you wanted to talk to me about?" Himeno asked, after barely containing a squeal of glee when Goh sat the cake down in front of her (his treat, of course). She snatched up the silver fork in her hands, but at least managed to look up at Goh and wait for his answer before digging in. "It must be pretty important if you felt the need to bribe me with cake. I would have come anyway, you know..." She added, a bit guiltily, but her gaze kept shifting back and forth between his face and the cake, her eyes filling with a kind of ravenous, but charming, longing whenever they alighted on the pastry.

"I...I know that, Himeno-chan..." Goh fidgeted, suddenly losing his resolve. This was a bad idea, he told himself. He wanted to go back to this morning and erase the phone call he'd made to the Awayuki residence.

"Are you OK, Goh?" She frowned slightly. "You have circles under your eyes... haven't you been sleeping well?"

Crap. How had such a carefree... well, let's be blunt... ditzy girl grown to be so observant? Then again, his haggard state was pretty obvious to anyone who looked at him closely enough. Goh had hoped that downing enough coffee to kill a herd of elephants over the course of the morning would hide the fact that he had been sleeping very little lately. His nights were full of tormented longing that haunted his dreams when he did manage to sleep, and filled his mind when he was awake and chased away all hope of slumber.

Himeno set her fork down and reached across the table to touch the knuckles of his left hand, which was clenching a napkin on the table in a death grip. Her rose colored gaze softened with worry. "...Goh? What's wrong? Please tell me..."

Goh sighed and looked up, uncertainly taking in Himeno's gaze. _ Hayate is a lucky man, _He thought. The girl's gaze was both beautiful and disarming. _ Himeno... will understand... I should tell her... _But still, he hesitated.

"Goh..." Himeno's pleasant tone and equally pleasant expression never changed, but she tightened her light touch on his hand into a bone-crushing grip and Goh flinched. "Tell me or I'll start screaming about a hair in this cake, and get you fired."

"Himeno-chan..." Goh flushed and looked down at the table-top. "OK, OK, I'll tell you... I guess I have to tell someone, or I'll go crazy. I already FEEL crazy, after all..." He leaned back in his chair, letting out another long sigh as he did so.

Another long moment passed, and Himeno's patience was beginning to wear thin. Just as she opened her mouth to start yelling, Goh spoke.

"...I'm in love, Himeno," He said softly, his tone one of absolute and utter misery.

Himeno blinked in confusion. This was not what she had expected Goh to say! "Uh... love? Well... that's a GOOD thing, isn't it, Goh? Why so sad?"

"I'm in love..." He continued, "But I'm afraid to tell... the person in question... because its someone who is already close to me... someone important to me and important to those closest to me... and... if I tell... the person...." He took a deep breath. "It could affect everyone... and I don't know if its worth the risk."

There was another lengthy, awkward silence, and Himeno wore a pensive expression, as if she were about to choose her words very carefully.

"...I'm assuming by "everyone" you mean the other Leafe Knights..." She said carefully. Goh nodded, looking as if he wanted to shrink into his chair and disappear. "So the person you love is someone close to the Leafe Knights?" She continued, her tone starting to sound distinctly uncomfortable, and she began to fidget and glance from side to side as well. "Um... look, Goh, I'm flattered and all, but..."

Goh suddenly sat up, straight as an arrow, and waved his hands frantically. "N-no, Himeno-chan, I-I-I-I didn't mean YOU! No, not you, definitely not you!" He blurted out, his face going beet red as he babbled crazily. "You're more like a little sister to me, I would never dream of trying to steal you from Hayate!!"

"Oh... well..." Himeno took up her fork again, and stabbed it decisively into the cake. "So... who ARE you in love with? Mawata?"

Goh shook his head.

"...Yayoi? Takako?"

Goh shook his head twice more.

"Good lord, you're not in love with Mayune, are you?" Himeno whispered, her eyes growing wide with horror.

"No!!" Goh hissed, growing redder and redder by the moment.

"You're in love with my stepmother?? You want to steal my FATHER'S WIFE??" Himeno blurted out, her tone rising enough that people were starting to look at them.

_ Please, God, just let a black hole open up here and swallow me... _Goh thought, as he began waving his rapidly again. "No! No! No! Himeno-chan!! I'm not in love with any of them!!!"

"Oh... well..." Himeno flushed and calmed her tone a bit. She chewed on the tines of the fork. "...I've run out of females, haven't I? Do you guys know a woman that I don't know about?"

Goh slumped even further.

"Himeno-chan... I'm not... In love... with... a.... woman..." He hissed, slowly forcing each word out through his teeth.

".............Oh."

Goh flopped back in his chair again, rubbing his temples with his index fingers. When had this migraine come on?

"Well, then..." Himeno said, looking around as she smoothed her hair and regained her composure. "So... you're not in love with a woman... that means you're, er..."

"................Gay." The word barely squeaked past Goh's lips. He stared at the table-top again. He was beginning to find the checkered table-cloth to be his visual refuge.

"...OK. Well... OK.." Himeno shrugged and took a bite of cake. "You're gay!"

Goh blinked and looked up at her. "Just... 'ok'? You're not shocked? You're not freaked out??"

Himeno shrugged again. "Gotta say... I'm a bit surprised, but not that much. I mean.. its not like any of you guys ever date.. and don't give me that bit about being a Leafe Knight and not having time..." She pointed at him with her fork. "It's been over two years since my battle with the Princess of Disaster, and we haven't had a single battle since then. So you guys have been living like ordinary people since then. Also, you have your own little band of groupies here at this restaurant who adore you. So, its not like you're lacking for attention from cute young girls. But, you never go out with any of them."

Goh wondered how much redder his face could get. "...Groupies?"

Himeno gave him the age old "yes, you silly, unobservant male" look that no female worth her salt hasn't given some hapless man a time or two. "Yes, groupies. All those high school girls who come here just so YOU will wait on them! The ones you flirt with, and don't deny, 'cuz I've seen you do it. But, like I said... you never go out with anyone."

"...Oh..." Goh wondered how much farther he could shrink into the chair.

"Therefore, I'm not that surprised to learn you're gay." Himeno finished triumphantly. She held up a finger as she swallowed a forkful of cake. "Though just so you know... it doesn't bother me. And, I don't think the other Leafe Knights would hold it against you. Is that why you were worried about telling them you were in love? You were afraid to come out of the closet?"

"It's not just that..." Goh said uncertainly, dropping his gaze once more.

"After all, I think the guys would be happy for you, just for the fact that you're in love. Which reminds me, you said that it was a guy who you all were close to..." Himeno trailed off as she licked fudge off of her fingers. Her gaze suddenly became dark and deadly. "You're not in love with Hayate, are you?"

"...Hell... freaking... no."

"Good. His ass is mine to tap." Himeno said innocently as she began picking up crumbs off the plate and licking them off her fingers.

"HIMENO-CHAN!!" Goh shrieked, completely scandalized. He had never imagined Himeno saying something so... so vulgar!

"Sorry..." Himeno flushed and waved her hand. "I think all of the free-spirits I've been meeting at the University are starting to affect me... I've become even more outspoken than usual..." She blushed. "OK.. so its not Hayate," She added, immediately switching back to the original subject. "Is it... one of the guys, though?"

"I gotta get back to work..." Goh began to stand up, but Himeno pointed at him.

"SIT!"

Goh immediately sat down without thinking.

"You're in love with one of the guys..." She repeated, sounding a little mystified. "...Wow... no wonder you're afraid to say anything... You guys are so close-knit and everything..."

"It is improper enough for a Leafe Knight to be with a Pretear.. but two Leafe Knights together.. Himeno.. I.. I don't think it's even possible." Goh sputtered, scratching at the checkered table cloth.

Himeno blinked. "Improper? Who is there to judge you? I mean... Sasame is with Takako and there's me and Hayate... I know you guys are capable of feeling love.. and... well.. you were all BORN into your roll as Leafe Knights, so its not like you're priests who took vows or anything... why shouldn't you be allowed to have relationships?"

"Himeno... you know how dangerous it is... look what falling in love did to Takako... and Sasame... we all nearly died because of it..." Goh shook his head. "I just can't do it... and besides... what if he rejects me?"

"What if he doesn't?" Himeno covered his hand with hers again. "If you love him... then that means you must also respect him, right?"

Goh nodded. "I... I respect him more than anyone else in the world... I could never begin to be as wise as he is..."

"Well then," Himeno interrupted him. "Doesn't that mean he deserves to know how you feel, so that you and he both have a chance to find out? Besides... you're Goh! You're the Knight of Fire! It's not like you to be so timid! You're the kind of guy who jumps in there and takes what he wants, right?"

"I guess so..."

"Well, I guess not!" Himeno snapped, waving her finger in his face. "Now, which one is it? No, no, let me guess.." She began, placing her cupped hand to her chin in thought, "You seem like the type who would like someone strong and feisty, like you. But maybe you want someone quiet and reserved. You did say he was wise, yes.. well..." She trailed off, pushing out of her chair. She began to circle the table, her arms folded over her chest. "You are young, and would want someone older and more experienced.. you almost have a naïve personality, so perhaps someone with a dominating attitude?"

Goh blushed. "I am not naïve!"

But Himeno continued. "Yes... someone who is your opposite.. the neat and almost anal-retentive Yin to your carefree Yang..."

"I wouldn't say I'm carefree, I'm very responsible, actually..."

"You have dark hair, so, someone who is... oh... I don't know... BLOND?"

Goh felt like he was going to shrink to nothing. She knew.

Himeno whirled around to face him. "But... isn't Shin a little young for you?"

Goh's head snapped up and he gaped at her in confusion. Shin? Where did THAT come from? "Shin? SHIN? I'm not in love with SHIN, Himeno!" He stood up, putting his hands on his hips. "I'm in love with-"

Himeno put a finger to his lips before he could blurt it out in front of the whole world. "Gotcha! So... are you going to tell Kei?" She asked, her voice falling to a whisper. "Cause... you seemed ready to just scream it out in front of the whole world just now... in front of EVERYONE... which is more like the Goh I know."

"Mmmm.." Goh whined, sinking back into his chair. He twiddled his fingers around a loose string on his uniform, trying to not make eye contact with Himeno.

"Don't go pussy on me, Goh! We're making progress!!" Himeno snapped. Goh flinched.

"You're speaking awfully gauchely today, Himeno-chan..." he said weakly.

"I'm just getting fired up, that's all!" She thrust both fists into the air. "All right! So! Let's devise a plan to capture Kei's attentions You will feel better if you confess!! Who knows? Maybe by the end of the day, you will be lovers!!!"

"Capture? Lovers? I don't want to CAPTURE him..." Goh began, but there was no going back now. Himeno had sunk her teeth in.


	2. A Confession of Sorts

Author's Note: Well! Thank you very much to everyone who has read and reviewed my fics so far!! A most SPECIAL thanks to my younger sister Blitzkrieg9688, a fellow KeixGoh 'shipper and ever so valuable co-author. She provides lines for me when I get stuck, including the most-hilarious line about tapping Hayate's ass in the last chapter. She a good 90 of the conversation between Goh and Kei at the café in this chapter, and will probably help me more than once before the whole thing is over. Anyhoo! On with the fic!!!

Chapter Two: A Confession of Sorts

Kei was feeling a little more than a tad irritated as he parked his car on the street near a café not unlike the one Goh worked in. _ This place is all the way across town from work... A quarter of my lunch break was spent just driving here, _He thought bitterly as he stepped out of the cherry-red Mercedes and locked it before dropping some coins into the parking meter.

Goh had called him earlier in the morning, absolutely insistent that Kei meet him for lunch that day. He said he had something he really needed Kei's opinion and advise on. Thinking back on the phone conversation, Kei rolled his eyes slightly. He had a pretty good idea what this would all be about. It seemed like lately all Himeno and Goh could talk about was all the pretty girls who frequented the café and vied for Goh's attention. Himeno seemed determined to do some matchmaking, and apparently she now wanted Kei in on the act.

_ What makes her think I'm interested in participating in such a juvenile activity as matchmaking.. _He thought as he crossed the street, thankful for the light traffic. _ What could I possibly tell him? Asking me for advice on women would be like asking Mr. Tanaka for advice on hair gel. _Well, maybe that simile wasn't quite right. Despite the shininess of his head now, Kei was sure that at some point in his youth, the Awayuki family chauffer had had hair, and therefore might possibly be able to participate in discourse on hair gel. Kei and women, on the other hand...

Kei grimaced a bit as a happy couple flounced by him, the girl's long ponytail and skirt fluttering in the wind as she clutched her beau's arm, the two of them laughing and holding ice cream cones. The breeze brought the smell of her perfume briefly past Kei's nose, and then they were gone, like two happy nymphs of summer, brief illusions of what lovers should look like.

Kei never had envisioned himself in a relationship like that. He couldn't, no matter how hard he tried, think of a way that he could love a woman. It just... didn't seem right to him. He'd been living as a normal human for over two years now, going to work every day (though he'd done that before anyway), living in a rented apartment instead of staying in Leafenia, even driving a car in lieu of flying or teleporting (to conserve Leafe). Despite all this, Kei still felt apart from people; disconnected. He knew the ins and outs of computers, and his knowledge about them grew everyday, but he couldn't really connect with humans. Especially women. The only woman for whom there was room in his universe as far as he was concerned was Himeno, and his feelings for her were not exactly... romantic.

So... what of romance? Did he really need it? Normally, he would say "no". He was a Leafe Knight. He had his comrades, a Pretear, and a world to protect. What more did he need? There was no fighting these days, but he had a life to build for himself outside of battling. His work schedule was busier than ever these days; Kei was one of the most sought-after computer programmers in Awayuki Town and the surrounding metropolitan areas. He had work designing software for everything from games to landscaping programs, and was also becoming a very successful web page designer. He was also becoming well-known for his skills with computer hardware—if Kei couldn't find a solution to a problem with a hard drive, then you probably needed a new computer. There was no lack of work coming his way, and he had hardly a spare moment in his day. So, he really had no need of romance to fill any kind of void in his time.

It wasn't even that many women he encountered in his day-to-day routines didn't want him. His skills caught the attention of male and female colleagues alike, and his pretty face, brooding eyes and shining hair turned many a head. He drove a nice car and lived in a spacious penthouse apartment (Kei's genius was apparently not only reserved for technology; he also had a knack for finances and had made quite a bit of money in two short years with the help of a very carefully selected and very diversified stock portfolio), and, of course, his name alone earned him a lot of attention from people seeking romance. He wondered sometimes if taking the name "Awayuki" as his family name was REALLY such a good idea; at Himeno's suggestion, all of the Leafe Knights had adopted her last name for use in the day-to-day world, none of them having their own family names up to that point. Kei was able to fend off some of his would-be suitors (both male and female) by assuring them that he was not one of THE Awayukis, but the number of people who were simply attracted by the name "Awayuki Kei" was astonishing.

So, in short, Kei had it all: Looks, money, brains, a good name, and no shortage of people who wanted to be at his side. And yet, he spent most of his evenings alone. None of the sycophants he encountered in his day-to-day activities could really capture his attention, much less hold it. The only people he really socialized with were the other Leafe Knights and Himeno, and that didn't really occur all that often these days. He either spent most of his time working until after midnight, going home and collapsing into bed, or staying at home with a cup of tea or a glass of wine and reading a good book.

It wasn't that he necessarily enjoyed being alone... it was just... well. He wasn't really sure what it was. Kei frowned and jangled his keys in his hand as he crossed the street and entered the posh café that Goh had asked him to meet him at.

Goh... The Leafe Knight of Fire was very popular with human girls as well. Their whole group knew that he enjoyed flirting with his female customers, always wearing a friendly smile and ready to dispense the most sincere compliments to the girls and women. He always actually meant his compliments, and it made him a very well loved (and well-tipped) waiter. But, he also had a reputation for being skittish around women and had never, as far as Kei knew, actually gone out with a girl.

Kei pushed the door to the café open and scanned the room. He spotted Goh sitting at a round table near the middle of the room, fidgeting with a glass of juice in his hands. Kei sighed. He was really, truly, not in the mood to hear Goh moon-calf over some girl who had captured his eyes. The whole notion of Kei giving his younger companion advice about romance made him extremely uncomfortable, in some way he didn't really understand, but it made his skin practically crawl.

They exchanged their greetings and Kei ordered a cup of Earl Grey tea. As soon as Goh opened his mouth, Kei's worse fears were confirmed. As with all things that either didn't interest him or he found offensive in some way, Kei's attention began to wander away from what Goh was saying.

Goh gave a long speech about love and truth, basically repeating everything Himeno had said to them about the whole subject, blushing and looking sideways as he did so. Kei wasn't paying much attention to the whole matter, as he was sure Goh was just gushing about some cute girl in a miniskirt that had flounced past the diner earlier that morning, so he didn't pick up on the rather obvious point Goh was trying to put across to him. As this continued, Goh became more and more aware that Kei was either completely ignoring him, totally oblivious as to what he meant, or he understood but he didn't feel the same way for Goh.

Of course, being the Leafe Knight of Fire, Goh did not always have the coolest temper and sometimes it did not take much to flare it up. He had been agonizing over this very conversation for three days, and now Kei wasn't even giving him the courtesy of a direct response! He gripped onto his drink, tightening his jaw as he spoke slowly.

"So.. do you get what I'm trying to say to you?" Goh had asked, lowering his eyes to stare into the glass. Kei twiddled an exceptionally curled lock of blond hair around his finger, blinking back into things.

"Hmm? Oh, yes." Kei answered, not really looking back at Goh. He was staring off into the street, his golden eyes not really focusing on anything in particular.

"And.. are you okay with it?" Goh mused, his eyes lighting up with curiosity.

Kei looked back at Goh, sitting up straight and gripping the spoon in his tea to stir it gently. "Why should you have to get my approval?"

Goh slumped in his chair. "..What do you mean?"

"I mean.." Kei sighed, rolling his eyes, "Why should I care if you chase after some girl in a miniskirt, Goh? I can tell you that it probably won't lead to anything meaningful, if you would like me to tell you my opinion." He replied.

Goh tightened his jaw even more, his grip on the glass slipping off as he balled his fists up. "Didn't you listen to one word I said?" Goh asked slowly.

"I heard a lot of things about love and secret passions." Kei replied flatly. "I assume that it means you have another puppy love crush on another entirely too young girl.. does it not?" The Knight of Light murmured.

He couldn't help himself. He pushed his chair back and stood up quickly, unable to control his anger. He had been gushing for about twenty minutes and one of his best friends hadn't heard a word he had said. "You frickin' dumbass!" Goh snapped, holding his arms up in anger. Kei blinked in confusion at the younger knight's sudden outburst.

"..Wha-" Kei began, but was cutoff by Goh continuing his rant right over the top of the blond's words.

"I've been spilling my guts for the past twenty damn minutes and you think I'm obsessed with some chick in a MINISKIRT?!" Goh yelled, gesturing with his arms wildly. "Yeah, I thought I liked girls, I really thought I did, but I can't get anywhere with them, and I finally realize WHY! Yeah, and I told you WHY, but you're too damn CLUELESS to pick up on any of my CLUES!"

"But, Goh-"

"Here's a hint! Hopefully you can pick up on this one!" The dark haired young man continued, stretching his arms out as widely as they would go. "I'm frickin' over-the-top-loop-de-loop-pink-hearts-and-fluffy-bunnies GAY, Kei!!" He screamed one final time, dropping his arms to his sides and letting out a deep breath.

The word "gay" seemed to echo around the room, and then there was an almost deafening silence surrounding their small table as the few seconds passed after Goh's rather surprising revelation.

Kei just stared at Goh, his expression not unlike that of a frog who had been bashed over the head. Goh stared back, a look of determination on his face, cheeks flushed, panting. It was now utterly silent, and what few people who were in the restaurant with them were all trying very hard not to stare at them, though it was painfully obvious that everyone was listening to them by now.

"WELL?" Goh snarled, after the silence went on for an agonizing 30 seconds. Kei's indifference had invoked his fighting spirit, but he knew the fire burning in his gut wasn't going to last long, and he was already on the verge of running away. But he was going to make use of the adrenaline rush while he had it.

"Well.... What?" Kei hissed back, regaining his composure. "For Heaven's sake, sit down... everyone is staring at you!"

"I don't really care if they are! If I'm going to come out of the closet to YOU, I may as well come out to the whole world!" Goh gestured around the restaurant. "I don't care anymore if everyone knows if I'm gay, because now YOU know!"

"Why would it matter so much if I know?" Kei muttered, looking away as he drained the last of the contents of his teacup. When another pause ensued, he looked back at his younger companion.

Goh's face fell from anger to something Kei couldn't quite read. He looked down at the floor, both fists clenched, shaking slightly. When Goh finally spoke, his voice wavered ever so slightly.

"Forget it... just forget it, Kei. ...Himeno was wrong... I never should have told you..." Walking to the table, he slammed a small wad of cash down hard enough to shake the table and make the dishes on it clatter, turned, and abruptly fled the store, leaving a bemused and embarrassed Kei behind with a restaurant full of people staring at him. Kei flinched at the sound of the café door slamming shut, the bell on it clattering harshly against the wood. Without a word, and with as much dignity as he could muster, Kei took out his wallet and placed some money on the table as well, got up, and walked out of the restaurant with all the grace and poise of a housecat that had just fallen off of the back of a couch and was attempting to convince everyone it had been on purpose.

He walked from the entrance of the restaurant, across the road (without even paying attention to the traffic, and forcing a couple of drivers to slam on their brakes), to his car. With a quick push of a button on his keyless entry remote, the locks popped open and he got inside... and just sat.

With one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on his lap, holding the keys, he slowly went over Goh's words in his mind, processing what Goh had REALLY been saying while Kei had been sitting there daydreaming.

_"Sometimes... one person can hold secret passions for another person... passions that can eat up all of their thoughts and keep them awake at night."_

_"I think that it would be important to get to know a person before you have a relationship... the longer you've known someone, the better..."_

_"If I'm going to come out of the closet to YOU, I may as well come out to the whole world! I don't care anymore if everyone knows if I'm gay, because now YOU know!"_

Kei gripped the leather of the steering wheel and stared at his own reflection in the rearview mirror. _What.. could he have meant by that? _ But he knew, even as he thought it, that it was a stupid question. Why hadn't he paid attention? Why hadn't he really heard the message Goh was trying to give him?

_ Goh wasn't in love with some girl he met at the café... he was... in love with... ME... _ He thought, gripping the steering wheel even harder. He glared at his own reflection. _...Kei "Awayuki"... you are an IDIOT... _

To be concluded!!


	3. Seeking

Author's Note: Yeah, yeah, yeah… I know, I've been extremely derelict in finishing this fic… my apologies to all who have been following it… but you know how it can be with school and writer's block… Anyway, as usual, I want to thank my sis Blitzkrieg9688 for all her hard work in pestering my constantly to write, and in providing me with lines when I'm stuck… which usually turn out of be the best lines in the fic. Also, thanks to everyone who has left reviews!

And yeah… I know I said "to be concluded" in the last chapter, but this one turned out a lot longer than I initially thought, and I figured… it would be better to make it a four chapter ficcie instead of a three chapter one. So yeah… enjoy!

Chapter Three: Seeking (AKA: Kei Goes Slumming)

Himeno hummed to herself as she sat at her computer, typing up the last page of a term paper for one of her Marketing classes. Although she hated writing long papers, she was always happy to be nearing the end, and happier still for the sense of accomplishment that they carried. From her purse, a muffled MIDI of "Whistle While You Work" from the Disney version of Snow White began to play. She abruptly jumped up from the chair and ran to the door where her purse hung; a Snow White ring-tone on her cell phone could only mean it was one of the Leafe Knights calling, and she had been waiting all day to hear from Goh and find out how his lunch with Kei had gone.

Her face brightened when the caller ID revealed the caller to, in fact, be Goh. She quickly flipped the phone open. "Goh? I wanna know EVERYTHING!"

"………Himeno… can you watch the kids this afternoon?" Goh's voice was low and his speech slow.

Himeno frowned. It wasn't the request that bothered her, but the tone in his voice. He sounded morose but oddly under control. It seemed that his meeting with Kei hadn't gone well. "…Are you all right?" She asked.

"I… well… not really. I just need to get out some and think… Don't… don't worry about me, Himeno-chan…" Goh answered flatly, before hanging up.

"Damn it, Goh…" Himeno sighed as she put her cell phone back in her purse. For a moment the thought of going out to look for the Knight of Fire, to see if he was really OK, crossed her mind, but she thought better of it. Goh sounded thoroughly determined to sulk, and she knew well enough by now that when Goh got into one of his moods, there was no shaking him out of it. She had bullied his secret about Kei out of him, but that was only because he was already on the verge of telling her anyway. She felt a bit guilty for making him go confess to Kei… obviously the Knight of Light had not returned his feelings, and now Goh was nursing a broken heart. She plopped down in her chair, now thoroughly bummed out, and not really wanting to work on her term paper anymore.

But then, her cell phone began to play "Whistle While You Work" again. She jumped up and ran back to the door to retrieve her purse again. Taking it out, she examined the caller ID, and her pulse quickened. _Kei! _"Ano… moshi-moshi…" She said as she answered, trying to sound casual, knowing Kei wasn't likely to be particularly pleased with her.

"I suppose I have _you_ to thank for Goh blindsiding me this afternoon."

Himeno flinched. "I hope you weren't that cold to Goh," She snapped. There was a long pause. "_Well_?"

"Have you heard from Goh?" He finally asked, sounding extremely reluctant.

"…And what if I had?" Himeno answered loftily, but apparently Kei could not be so easily distracted. Nor was he about to share the details of the conversation with her. She could tell by his carefully (too carefully) measured tone that he was trying hard (too hard) to sound like his usual calm self. _He's really upset…_

"Please… I need to find him…"

Himeno flinched. She couldn't help thinking this was all her fault. "Well, I'm sorry, Kei, but… I don't know where he is. He asked me to watch Mannen and Hajime and Shin and then hung up… he said he needed to think."

There was another pregnant pause and Kei sighed on the other end of the line. "OK… thanks…"

Himeno was burning to ask him about the details of what had transpired, but knew it would do her no good. Maybe she had been wrong to interfere… "Kei… are you all right?" She asked, wondering how often she would have to ask if one of her knights was all right in one week when there wasn't even any fighting going on.

"I will be when I find him… It shouldn't be difficult… after all, we have a connection," Kei said, somewhat gravely.

"Oh yeah.. you're both Leafe Knights… it shouldn't be hard at all for you to find him…" Himeno said, some of her worrying lessening.

"…That, too…"

Before Himeno could say anything else, the line went dead.

"Kei…" She frowned at the screen of her cell phone, and slowly returned to her desk, this time leaving the pink phone nearby where she could answer it easily if anyone else called again. _What did he mean… "that, too"? _Was that a good sign, or a bad one?

It didn't take Kei long to find Goh once he actually got to looking. A few hours had transpired between his clash with Goh at the café and Kei finally breaking down to call Himeno. He had called off from work for the afternoon, claiming to be sick. He hung around the parking lot for awhile before driving about aimlessly, his emotions cycling from angry to confused to worried and back again. Some part of him seemed to hope that Goh would just come back and that they could talk things out. Now, whether he would apologize for being insensitive or upbraid Goh for behaving childishly in storming off, Kei wasn't entirely sure.

But after finally calling Himeno, Kei was determined to go and find Goh himself, though he was still reluctant to put forth a great deal of effort in doing so. Himeno was right, however; finding Goh was as simple as bending Kei's will towards finding the younger knight, and the magic of the Leafe did the rest. He could have teleported directly to the spot where he sensed Goh (which thankfully wasn't any place too far enough; apparently Goh hadn't been angry enough to leave the city to sulk) but he decided to drive, in order to try to sort his thoughts out for himself and be ready to go on the offensive when he found Goh.

Goh… why was Kei even going through this effort? If such a misunderstanding had occurred between Kei and any other person, Kei would have waited things out and let the other person come back to sort things out and smooth over any hurt feelings. Always the strategist, Kei would never go into any confrontation unprepared. And yet, here he was driving towards what had the potential to be an explosive altercation, and he really had no idea what he wanted to say to Goh. Somehow "I'm sorry" didn't seem to quite cut it. But what else was there to say?

Goh hadn't directly come out and said it, but he had as good as implied it: "I love you."

There are only two ways to answer that statement, and both ways would change things between he and Goh forever. Kei felt his throat tighten uncharacteristically. It had been a very, very long time since anyone had said that to Kei… and longer still since Kei had said it himself. Another time… practically another life. How would he, how could he, answer Goh's unasked question, "do you love me back?" honestly? Damn Goh for putting him in this position! _Damn him for making me… feel… _Kei gasped, unbidden, and found that his eyes were stinging slightly. He swallowed thickly and glared at the road ahead. Control was everything Kei was about… without his control he was nothing. It was inconceivable that he could be thrown so out of whack in a few short hours, but he was.

It was getting dark.

Kei's mood blackened further when he noticed the area he was driving into was becoming noticeably less well-kempt than the area he and Goh had met in over lunch. There were less shops and restaurants lining the streets and more bars and pool halls. While it was by no means a horrible part of town, it wasn't a neighborhood that Kei ever graced with his presence.

Kei eyed the pubs along the street as he slowed down. He could feel Goh getting closer and closer. _Goh wouldn't go and drown his sorrows in a bar, would he? I've never seen him drink anything but juice or chocolate milk before… would he really go out and get drunk over what happened today? _Kei hit the brakes when a familiar vehicle caught his sight: a small black motorcycle with red and orange flames painted on the sides, and a vanity plate which read "Go Goh". Goh's motorcycle.

Would Goh go out and get drunk? Apparently he would. Taking a deep breath, Kei pulled up to the curb and parked, vowing to get in, get Goh, and get out as quickly as possible.

_If my car gets stolen because of him, I'm going to kick his ass, _He thought sulkily as he pushed the doors to the bar open.

Kei stopped in the threshold of the bar. He had only taken three steps in and he already felt adrift in a sea of leather, tattoos and body-piercings. Clad in his cream-colored Italian tailored suit, purple dress shirt, yellow silk tie, and brown leather dress-shoes, Kei stuck out like a sore thumb. He slowly took in the scene around him, thinking to himself that surely, this must be what his own personal hell would look like. Taking a deep breath, Kei steeled himself and slowly loosened his tie as he pressed his way into the crowd, wrinkling his nose in distaste at the loud rock music and at the smell of cigarette smoke and sweat that hung in the air. He took the utmost care not to touch a single square inch of tattooed skin.

People started to move out of Kei's way when they noticed the dapper and completely out-of-place man. The look of directness on his face and his "don't mess with me" air seemed to shine right through the pretty face and shining hair. Just as he was about to ask someone if he'd seen Goh, he caught threads of a conversation in the general area of the bar (which he had been trying to push his way towards) over the music.

"Is it so wrong to want to be loved? I mean… so what if it was a man…"

Kei flinched, feeling a chill run up and down his spine and a deep flush run from his toes to his forehead. Peering around a musclebound, shirtless body that was in front of him, he caught sight of Goh hunched over the bar, apparently in the care of three goth girls who couldn't have been a day over 21, who were listening to his story with sympathetic looks on their faces.

"What a bastard," One girl was saying, as Kei inched his way closer and closer, the Knight of Light doing all sorts of strange contortions to avoid touching any of the people around him.

"Don't worry, I have lots of gay friends… I'll find someone for you…" The second girl was saying, patting Goh on the back as the third girl passed him another beet.

"But I don't WANT anyone else!" Goh practically wailed.

"Give it time, honey, you can get over anyone with enough time…" The third girl said.

"I don't WANT to get over him…" Goh said miserably.

At that moment, someone bumped into Kei, causing him to fall forward against the bar, causing empty glasses to clatter and the people gathered around to give him nasty glares, including the three girls who had apparently decided to take Goh under their collective wing. They stared at Kei; Kei stared back.

"You lost?" One of them finally said, a bit of a sneer in her voice, completely opposite to the sweet and caring tone she had taken with Goh.

"....I suppose I am..." Kei said vaguely, having to pitch his voice above the loud music. He looked over at Goh, who was now laying with his head resting on the bar. "....Actually, I came here looking for him," He said, gesturing to the Knight of Fire. "Goh..." He began, but when he reached out to shake the other man's shoulder, the girls all slapped his hand away in unison.

"You must be Kei.." The first girl, who had been patting Goh's back, said quickly.

"Goh told us all about you.." The one who had been passing the drinks added. "I don't think Goh has anything to say to you."

Kei frowned in irritation. He was in unfamiliar territory now, physically, psychologically and emotionally. More than half of the people in his bar were probably perfectly willing to kick his ass just based on principle and his looks, and he could already sense several of the leather-clad, stud-bearing patrons drawing closer around to bar, so as to hear the exchange between Kei and these girls.

_What the hell was Goh doing in a place like this anyway?? _

"I need to take him home," Kei said evenly. "Our friends and...his family... are worried about him." His determined glare and set jaw added, silently, 'and I will not be moved from this spot without him, so back the hell off'.

"He'll go home when he's ready... he's hurting!" One of Goh's defenders argued, and Kei resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

Not as much as he's going to be hurting in the morning, He thought, uncharitably. As he had noted earlier, he had never seen Goh drink anything but juice or milk. He now had several empty beer glasses arranged in an arc around him on the bar, as well as a couple of empty shot glasses, which could have held god-only-knows-what.

"No... he's coming home.. with me... NOW.." Kei said, slowly, and forcefully, knowing the people who had been edging in closer to listen were now pressing around them even more tightly.

"....Kei?" Goh lifted his head wearily from the bar and blinked, looking at his blond comrade wearily. "...What're... you doin' here?" He asked, his tone a mix of confusion and bitterness.

"I came to take you home," Kei said, crossing his arms and doing his best to look stern and impressive. "Himeno and the others are worried about you. We don't know what to tell the kids."

Goh just stared at him. "...I'm such an idiot..." He said, pathetically.

"Yes, you are.." Kei nodded, but just as Goh's newfound protectors were about to leap on Kei like tigresses protecting their cub, he added, "But ....we.... all love you anyway..." His throat stuck a little on the 'we' and 'love'.

Goh gave a weak chuckle, and looked down into the amber liquid in the glass in front of him. "Yeah… I know you do… just… not the way I… wish…" He trailed off, shaking his head.

"I never figured you would be the whiny type when you got drunk," Kei said harshly, growing quite tired of Goh's uncooperative attitude, broken heart or no. "Get up, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and come home with me, Goh." He felt his own face beginning to heat up and he hated this place and the people in it more and more with each passing moment.

"You don't have to feel responsible for me, Kei… I'm a grown man, I'll get over it," Goh growled, shaking off a second attempt by Kei to take hold of his shoulder. By now the three girls had backed up, catching on that neither Goh nor Kei were paying them any attention, but they remained close enough to listen, as did the rest of the small audience they were attracting.

Kei took a deep breath and briefly cast his eyes upwards at the ceiling_. Leafe give me strength…_ He thought, before moving close enough to Goh to lay his arm over the Knight of Fire's hunched shoulders. To the casual observer, it would appear that it was a gentle gesture, but Kei's grip was like a crushing weight, not only with his own subtle physical strength behind it, but a good deal of Leafe as well. Goh was pretty much halfway to being pinned to the bar, and it would take a great assertion of his own powers to shake off Kei's hold, and even if he could muster up the concentration to do so, he wasn't trying. Kei leaned down, placing his lips near Goh's ear.

"I'm… sorry, OK? Can we please get out of here so we can talk about this in private?" He hissed, leaning so close that his lips actually brushed against the top of Goh's ear. "And no matter what you think, I DO feel responsible for you… I've known you your entire life, and you've always been a hothead." Before Goh could interrupt, he went on, "And you've always been a very dear friend…I was just so shocked by what you said to me this afternoon… you know… you really didn't even give me a chance to give you a straight answer once I figured out what you were talking about."

Kei was speaking so softly that there was no way anyone around them could hear them. He was using a little bit of Leafe to transmit his thoughts as he spoke as well. He hoped that, even in Goh's inebriated state, the Knight of Fire would be able to understand what Kei was getting at without the blond Knight of Light having to do or say anything drastic.

"And for the love of Leafe, do not start crying," He added, as an afterthought, when Goh let out a betraying sniffle.

"Kei… I want to erase everything that's happened today…" Goh whispered back. "I'm… so ashamed of the way I've behaved…"

Kei sighed again, silently asking any listening god for patience once more. "Everything, huh?"

"Everything… I want things to go back to the way they were… I don't want things to be weird between us…"

"Hm… even when you're drunk you're unfailingly honest."

"What's wrong with that?" A definite whining tone was creeping back into Goh's voice, and he was getting louder with each word, carrying himself farther and farther from their private whispering. "Maybe I should quit wearing my heart of my sleeve… All it does is make me into the laughing stock of the Leafe Kni-"

Kei let out a little muttered curse and pushed Goh's face sideways with his hand so they were face to face.

"Shut UP, Goh," He said, exasperated, as he pressed his lips to the younger knight's own, muffling any further words. Kei wrinkled his nose a little at the smell and taste of alcohol on Goh, who was stock-still with surprise.

"Hey, pal… if you're not gonna buy a drink, take a hike… and get him out of here, while you're at it… he's reached the cut-off point," The bartender said irritably, interrupting their little moment.

"Do you believe me now that I don't think any less of you??" Kei demanded as he pulled away, his voice slightly panicky. His face was flushed and his heart was pounding like crazy. "Can we _PLEASE_ go home now??" He clutched both of Goh's shoulders and practically turned Goh's body on the barstool, so he was facing him head on. "That is, unless, you think so much less of ME now…"

Goh just stared at him for a long moment, his eyes slightly droopy, and he nodded, his words slurring ever so slightly for the first time, as if giving up his complaining had run all of the energy right out of him. "Um… yeah…… think maybe I… better go…" He said, a bit vaguely. "IF…. I can stand up…"

"You're hopeless.." Kei sighed as he looped his arm around Goh again. "On three, OK? ...One... two.... thr-"

Goh stood up much more quickly than Kei might have expected, almost causing the blond man to stumble over. Goh swayed on his feet, and Kei had to invoke a little more Leafe power to keep Goh from falling over (and dragging Kei down with him, since he was taller and heavier than the blond).

"Ooh... stop the room, I want to get off..." Goh mumbled, rubbing his fore head with his free hand.

"Don't we all.." Kei muttered, before looking over at the three girls who had been protecting Goh, who were now watching the duo with somewhat starry eyes. "Um... thank you.. for watching him...."

"Um.. no problem…" The girl who seemed to be the leader of the trio picked up her drink. "Good luck.. I guess…" They seemed to be a little disappointed to have lost Goh, but, they all gave a shrug and moved away, disappearing into the crowd of dancers.

"Shall we?" Kei renewed his grip on Goh. "Just one foot in front of the other…"

"…Nnn.. what about my bike?"

"And his tab!" The bartender hollered, before Kei could answer Goh.

Kei grumbled to himself as he fished around in his wallet with a free hand, pulling out a few bills and passing them over. "Is this enough?"

The older man looked the money over and nodded, not saying anything else as he headed for the cash register.

"My bike?" Goh pressed.

"I'll have it towed to your apartment…"

"Unh…. Kay…"

Just like when he'd entered, people seemed to just unconsciously move themselves out of Kei's path as he stumbled towards the exit with Goh. They got outside, and Goh sucked in a breath of the cool night air with a little moan of discomfort. "I don't feel so good…"

"I'm not surprised," Kei said tartly. "Do you need to throw up? If you do, do it BEFORE we get in my car… I just got the interior detailed."

"Your concern overwhelms me…" Goh growled. "Hey………….. you just kissed me… a minute ago… back there…" He added after a pause, as if it had just dawned on him.

"How observant of you…" Kei grunted as he and Goh stumbled towards the parked Mercedes, which was, thankfully, still in the pristine condition Kei had left it in. "Are you gonna make it?"

"Nnn.. I just want to go to sleep… or barf… I can't decide which…"

Kei wrestled his keys from his pocket and hit the keyless-entry button. The locks popped open and he bustled Goh into the front passenger seat. After a few unsuccessful tries by Goh, Kei had to fasten his friend's seatbelt for him.

"So… 'bout that kiss… er… that WAS a kiss, right?" Goh muttered, his head lolling to the left as Kei got in the car.

"Let me know if you need to throw up or anything and I'll pull over…" Kei said quickly as he started the engine. "…And… yes… it was a kiss."

"Hn… kay…" Goh shifted and leaned his head on the window, a small moan quivering in his throat then dying off, replaced by a soft snore. Kei sighed and shook his head as he stared at Goh, waiting for him to sit up again. Moments passed, Goh didn't stir. He was out cold.

_He REALLY must be drunk… if he had his full faculties, he wouldn't have just accepted that… he's going to be crazy in the morning… if he remembers this at all… _Kei reached over and gently pushed a wayward spike of Goh's hair out of the slumbering Knight of Fire's face. _Why… why did I kiss him? I could have silenced him in other ways… _Kei took a deep breath. He had to take a moment to think. Everything had been something of a blur from the moment he stepped into the bar to the moment he buckled his seatbelt.

He had gone in there with such a single-minded determination. A man with a mission, he'd made a bee-line right for Goh. What would he have done if he couldn't find him in that crowded place? Or if those girls and the people around Goh had put up an even bigger fuss to keep Kei away?

_I would have gone through them all… no matter what… _He realized, as he continued to play with Goh's unruly hair. _What does that mean? ….I DID kiss him, after all… _He sighed, for the thousandth time. "Well… you're out cold… whatever am I going to do with you?" Kei said aloud as he carefully removed his jacket, folded it, and gently placed it under Goh's head, so that the younger Knight wouldn't be leaning directly on the glass of the window.

After a moment of thought, Kei started the car and headed out, wanting to get out of this neighborhood. His own apartment would be much easier to get to… there was a highway exit not far off, and from there, it wasn't far to the part of town Kei lived in.

_…He'll kill himself, stumbling over all the junk on the floor at his place, in the state he's in… _Kei thought, knowing he was rationalizing and making excuses for the fact that he was taking Goh home with him instead of returning the intoxicated man to his own abode.

They were going to have a lot to talk about in the morning.

To be concluded…… This time, I mean it.


	4. Your Light

Author's note: Ahhhh… FINALLY done. Wow, this chapter turned out longer than I thought it would. As always, many many many MANY thanks to Blitzkrieg9688, and to everyone who has been following the story! Hugs to all! I hope you all enjoy the conclusion.  Oh, and in case you're wondering, the song towards the end of the fic is "Your Light", sung by Celine Dion. I couldn't think of a better song for Kei and God. ;-)

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Chapter Four: Your Light

"Ahn….. Shin… turn off your Glow Worm, I'm trying to sleep…" Goh groaned as he rolled over and buried his face in the goose-down pillow. Wait… goose down? Slowly, painfully, he forced one eye open, then rapidly shut it again as the morning sunlight seemed to act like a lance of fire, shooting into his eyeball and going straight into his brain, which made him aware that his head was pounding and his stomach seemed to be bunched up in knots. "Uuuurrrk…"

Suddenly, the thought smacked Goh like a ton of bricks: the feel of these sheets, the scent of vanilla floating on the air, the lack of children babbling incessantly---- "Oh my god.. where am I??" He gasped as he sat up suddenly and immediately regretted it. He let out a strangled groan and flopped back onto his back, his eyes squeezed shut, silently chanting in his mind that he would like very much to go to sleep and never wake up again.

"Oh… you're awake." That gentle voice was the only thing that would have made Goh open his eyes at that moment, to be sure that he wasn't in fact dreaming. Kei stood in the doorway of the unfamiliar room, holding a tray with some toast and a pot of tea on it.

"Eh…?" Goh didn't feel quite up to speaking articulately just yet.

"Let it never be said I'm selfish. I spent the night on the couch so you could sleep in my soft comfy bed on my silk sheets, you lush," Kei said as he walked over and set the tray down on the bed next to Goh. "Toast and tea. I know you feel nauseous but you need to eat or you'll get dry heaves… the tea will help calm your stomach," He explained, with all the crispness of a hospital nurse.

"I don't… get it… where…" Goh stammered as he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and began to pull himself together.

"You're in my apartment… I'm not surprised you don't recognize it… you've never been in the bedroom before," Kei said matter-of-factly as he poured the hot tea into a cup and forced it into Goh's hands. "Blow on that, it wouldn't do for you to burn your tongue," He ordered as he headed towards the closet.

"So… I'm in your place… but why?"

"Don't tell me you don't remember," Kei said as he walked over to the large bay window and yanked open the curtains, completely illuminating the room. "You declared your love to me… I thought you were talking about something else… you got angry, went to a bar to drown your sorrows, I tracked you down, and brought your hammered ass back here."

"You… kissed…me…" Goh muttered flatly. "I do remember that…"

"I'm flattered that out of everything that happened yesterday, that much you remember." Kei remarked, in his typical, bald honesty. He paused for a moment, and added, "I… I wanted to kiss you again, when we got back here, but… you threw up." He shrugged, as Goh's mouth dropped open from shock. "Besides… it wouldn't have been right…

Now it was Goh's turn to look like he'd been smacked upside the head. "I…I threw up? On your nice white carpet?? That carpet's probably worth more than I make in a whole month… Oh man…"

"More like a year…."

"Oh, man, oh man…"

Goh, focus," Kei snapped, before taking a deep breath and forcing himself to soften his tone as he carefully sat on the edge of the bed next to Goh. He did not look comfortable at all, but he seemed… determined, somehow. "I have a lot of things to tell you and I have to do it before I chicken out."

Goh shakily poured himself a cup of tea and blew on the hot liquid. Inhaling the steam made the pounding in his head lessen, but it was all he could do to focus on what Kei was telling him. Sheer will power and the desire to hear whatever Kei had to say was the only thing keeping him sitting up.

Kei took a deep breath before starting. "Up until yesterday… when you told me… in your own… special little way that you loved me… no one had ever said that to me before. I didn't know how to react… and… I'm sorry for hurting you."

Was that all? That was what had Kei so nervous? Goh opened his mouth, to say it was all right, but Kei held up his hand, silencing him.

"I'm going to tell you a story," He folded his hands in his lap, staring down at them, as if he was afraid to look Goh in the eye. "When I was younger… much younger… before you were born, I was in love with someone…" He took a deep breath, and without waiting for Goh's reaction, continued. "He was a Leafe Knight… the oldest one, our leader… his name was… Goh…" He closed his eyes and there was no disguising the pain in his voice. "I remember it like it was yesterday… the day he died… You see, we had no Pretear at the time, and there was this sudden outbreak of Demon Larva. Hayate and Sasame were even younger than me at the time, little more than children, too young to battle, and had to stay behind in Leafenia when Goh, Mannen, Hajime and Shin went forth to challenge the demons. I was supposed to stay with Hayate and Sasame, but in my arrogance I demanded the older knights take me along, refusing to take no for an answer until they gave in… I don't know now if remaining in Leafenia and missing the battle would have been better for me or not…" He trailed off into harsh breathing as he slowly regained his control. It was obvious Kei had never talked about this to anyone before.

"He… was killed…" Goh said flatly, still trying to wrap his head around everything Kei was telling him. "Right?"

Kei nodded slowly. "I was… maybe 13… I never told him how I felt… how could I? I mean… relationships between Leafe Knights just… weren't done… AREN'T done… and he was so much older than me…"

"Just like us…" Goh said in a defeated tone.

"But the difference between then and now is… you had the courage to say how you felt… you gave yourself a chance I couldn't…" He twisted in place on the bed and actually looked Goh in the eye for the first time that morning. "Now I know how you feel… unless you changed your mind since yesterday?"

Goh's eyes were red and he looked like he was on the verge of tears as he shook his head, his adam's apple bobbing up and down as if he were swallowing the urge to cry. Kei's neutral expression slowly changed to a very soft smile.

"I haven't seen you cry since the day we lost them…" Kei said quietly, meaning the elder Mannen, Hajime and Shin who had fallen when Takako became Fenril. "…And I don't want to ever see it again… understand?" He reached out and touched Goh's cheek.

"It's gonna be hard… not to… I don't think I realized until now… how much I really love you, Kei," Goh whispered, lowering his gaze. "I mean, damn… so much, it hurts…" He choked back a whimper and tried to wipe his eyes, but Kei grabbed his wrist and held it firmly.

"Did I say I don't…" Kei cut himself off and shook his head, then began again. "I care about you, Goh… maybe I even love you, too… I don't know. But we are not ordinary people… we're-"

"Leafe Knights, I know, I know…" Goh shook his head. "But what about Himeno and Hayate? I mean… she's the Pretear, that has to be even more dangerous a pairing, but they're pulling it off… why can't we-"

"Because we have to accept what we were born to be, Goh.. I cannot control what Hayate does; no matter how much I may disapprove of it, I can't stop them.. but I can stop what happens here.." Kei said softly, almost mournfully.

"But aren't we allowed to live, too? I hate being alone.. I hate falling asleep by myself.. I.. I.." Goh pleaded, feeling more and more as if his hopes were being buried, never to be unearthed again. He balled his fists and wrenched his arm from Kei's grasp. His hangover was only secondary in his mind now. "If that were true, you would have taken me home and left me there, not brought be back to your place and let me spend the night in your bed, and STILL be here late in the morning!"

"..I-" Kei began, realizing Goh had caught him between a rock and a hard place. "He's right.. Oh, Leafe, he's right.." He shrugged off the thought though, coming up with a rational explanation for his actions, "I am looking out for a fellow Leafe Knight.. It is my responsibility." He explained, but Goh raised an eyebrow in skepticism.

"..but.. if you were not going to let anything happen.. why even bother telling me that you might love me? Or that you wanted to kiss me again after you got me back here? I know you're kind of cold.. but you're not cruel.. and you're such a straightforward thinker.. why would you bother adding in meaningless subtexts if you had no reason for it?" Goh began to stumble to his feet, nearly falling on his face as his hangover combined with the sheets tangling around his legs conspired against him, but somehow he managed to recover, and drew himself up to his full height, which was nearly a whole head taller than Kei.

"Enough of this bull-shit!" Goh snarled, while Kei stepped back, staring at him with a shocked expression on his face. "I love you, you, you… pompous, overdressed, 52-hair product-using, high-heels-in-battle-wearing…" He paused and took a deep breath, his face turning a bright red as he clearly tried to think up more to say. "…S-smart… kind…sexy… man…" He finally finished, letting out the breath as his shoulders slumped in defeat when he couldn't think of anything else. Kei continued to stare at him with a goggled expression, and Goh was suddenly quite aware of the gentle breeze of the air-conditioner drifting about his nether-regions. "I'm naked… aren't I?" He stated, as Kei sighed and covered his face.

"Yes… yes you are."

"You undressed me?! Oh… THAT's not suspicious at all!"

"You threw up all over yourself!!" Kei barked, looking affronted at what he felt was an implication against his honor on Goh's part. "I had to wash your clothes, and you are much too GIGANTIC to fit into anything of mine!! Are you telling me you didn't notice until now? Believe me, when one sleeps naked on silk sheets, one is fully aware of it!!"

"Gigantic?? Why, I oughtta…" Goh snarled as he whisked the comforter off of the bed and wrapped it around his waist. "You are obviously just confused about your sexuality, and you're taking it out on me!"

"LOOK AT ME, GOH!!" Kei tossed his hair and waved his arms, gesturing around the meticulously decorated apartment. "Do I LOOK like someone who could POSSIBLY for a MOMENT think of himself as a STRAIGHT MAN?!"

"THEN WHAT IS THE FRICKIN' PROBLEM?!!" Goh roared, then winced, bringing a hand to his forehead. The momentary burn of anger was over and the hangover was reclaiming him. "Come on, Kei… I'm hungover, I'm naked, couldn't possibly get more vulnerable… don't kick me when I'm down… I love you…" His face bore a strange expression and he began to walk towards Kei purposefully. "I'm going to kiss you now," He said, in a tone that brooked no arguments.

Kei set his jaw and leveled a challenging glare at the younger, but larger, knight. "I'd like to see you try."

_(Hey man, come over here/ There's a secret that I wanna whisper in your ear)_

Goh securely knotted the comforter and dropped himself into a ready stance after taking a few steps, every line in his body indicating he was ready to charge. "If you really didn't want me to, I'd be flat on my ass right now."

_( I've waited so long, too long/ But I can't deny it anymore it's just too strong)_

Kei pushed his sleeves up and stepped back another pace. "You're crazy! You're going to assault me in my own apartment?!" He hissed, but he made no move to stop him. "You're still hung over, I could stop you easily. I'm not afraid of you."

_(It's a special kind of feelin'/ Something to believe in, Oh yeah)_

"So stop me," Goh said as he began to move towards Kei again, faster than before.

Kei rolled his eyes. "I don't want to hurt you."

_(So lay back, and let it flow/ Then just open up your heart and let your feelings go/_

_I said "Hey man, Yo man"/ Well it's really not that difficult to understand)_

"So don't hurt me, Kei," Goh murmured. They were now inches apart. He reached down and lightly ran his fingers over Kei's silky tresses. His stance was bold, but his fingers were shaking. He was acting tough, but he was actually terrified. He couldn't read the look in Kei's eyes, but he didn't seem to be disgusted or angry. Goh could see himself reflected in Kei's amber eyes.

_(That it's me that you've been seein'/ Baby when you're dreamin', at night)_

"You were raring to go a moment ago… why are you frozen now?" Kei asked, trying to sound scornful, but his voice was soft and scarcely audible.

"I guess I'm waiting for you to throw me out," Goh murmured back.

"…I don't want to have to throw-" Kei began, but Goh chose that moment to swallow the last vestiges of his pride, sum up what courage he had, and dart in for the kill. Well… dart in for the kiss, rather.

_(So let your walls come down/ And you'll feel my emotion_

_I will shelter you/ From a tear or an ocean_

_Whenever your hope is gone/ I'll give you strength to carry on_

_In the darkness of the night/I will be your light)_

Kei's hands moved reflexively to grip the younger knight's solid biceps in order to keep his balance. He did not fight back, though he could have easily frees himself from the kiss if he really wanted to. The problem was… he just didn't want to. It just felt too right. Goh's words echoed in his head: "_… Aren't we allowed to live, too? I hate being alone.. I hate falling asleep by myself..."_

_…I do, too… Ah, Leafe… is that what that feeling was? Was that the pain…of loneliness? _He felt a single tear trickle down his cheek. _I feel… different… is this… happiness?_

_(I'll give you something to hold on to/ When you can't find your way_

_Like a fire burning bright/ I will be your light)_

_Well… I'm not going to let him think that he can just use his physical advantage to dominate me… _Kei thought, as Goh took a tentative step backwards, two, three, guiding him towards the bed. The blond knight cracked one eye open, and when he saw the back of Goh's knees hit the edge of the bed… he shoved. Hard.

With a startled yelp, Goh fell backwards onto his back, loosing the comforter that had been his only cover and landing spread eagle in an entirely undignified, and somewhat obscene, pose. Kei averted his gaze as he felt his face heat up at the sight, but he couldn't stop his most basic reaction to what was going on. The laugh that bubbled up from his throat felt and sounded so natural, that he could hardly believe it was _him_ making that sound.

_(So relax, we'll take it slow/I wouldn't think you'd really have a better place to go  
I said "Hey man, Yo Man"/Why don't you move a little closer here and take my hand)_

"You… you prick! What was that for?!" Goh growled, but his expression became puzzled as Kei abruptly stopped laughed and fixed him with a look that Goh had never seen on the older knight's face before: a look of desire, adoration, and love.

Desire, adoration, and love. All for him. The Knight of Fire's heart was beating a mile a minute.

_(Are you feelin' what I'm feelin'/I know I must be dreamin', oh yeah)_

"It's not going to be easy, you know…" Kei sighed, his tone one of weary resignation mixed with mirth, as if he was summoning all the patience he had. "Everything I said about us being Leafe Knights is true. We can't allow a personal relationship to interfere with our work…"

_(But sometimes life can come/ To build a wall in between us_

_Don't let it get you down/ Whoever said love was an easy thing)_

Goh's smile could have lit up the whole room better than any beam of light Kei could have ever summoned. "Hey… who ever said love was an easy thing, right?" He said, his breath catching in his throat as Kei slowly slid onto the bed beside him.

"How's your head?" He asked, tapping the brunette's forehead. Goh winced in pain.

"I feel like shit… extremely happy, wonderful, pink-hearts-and-fluffy-bunnies-gay… but shit, nonetheless," Goh sighed, rubbing his forehead a little bit and closing his eyes. Kei chuckled, and kissed him on the forehead.

_(Whenever your hope is gone/ I'll give you strength to carry on_

_In the darkness of the night/ I will be your light)  
_

"Get some rest… I'll make you some soup. And I'll call Himeno and see if she can watch the kids for one more night…" The blond patted Goh on the shoulder as he lifted himself up from the bed and made his way to the door. "And I'll get your clothes for you in a little bit…" He cast a look over his shoulder on his way out the room. "And don't ever go out and get drunk like that again… from now on whenever you spend the night in my bed, I want you sober enough to enjoy it."

Once again, Goh's jaw dropped open in surprise, and he flopped backwards into the fluffy pillows, curling the silk sheets around him. He didn't think he would ever be able to sleep again, he was so elated, but as the aromas of Kei's apartment, combined with the smell of soup that began to waft in from the kitchen, the warm late-morning sunlight on the bed, and the feeling of being more content than he had ever felt in his life before all conspired against him.

"Kei…I love you…" He murmured, as sleep finally overtook him.

When Kei came in bearing the tray with a bowl of soup on it, he set it down on the bedside table next to the toast Goh had never eaten. He carefully smoothed out the sheets and kissed the slumbering knight on the forehead once more.

"I love you, too," He said quietly, surprised by how much he meant it.

_(I'll give you something to hold on to/ When you can't find your way  
Like a fire burning bright/ I will be your light _

I will be your light/ Whenever you need a friend  
Just come over to me baby/Baby Baby Baby

_So let your walls come down/ And you'll feel my emotion  
I will shelter you/ From a tear or an ocean _

Whenever your hope is gone/ I'll give your strength to carry on  
In the darkness of the night/ I will be your light

_I'll give you something to hold on to/ When you can't find your way  
Like a fire burning bright/ I will be your light _

Whenever your hope is gone/ I'll give your strength to carry on  
In the darkness of the night/ I will be your light

_  
Light, shining bright, baby/ I'll be the one who holds you, baby  
I'll be the one who loves you, baby/ Be the one who holds you, loves you,  
_

_Baby, baby)_

* * *

Epilogue

Moonlight streamed through the window onto the bed, illuminating the figures within. Kei lay propped up on his elbow, his head resting in his hand as he watched the figure slumbering next to him. The beams of the full moon cast a silvery white glow to Goh's skin, making him appear like a dark-haired angel swathed in silken white sheets. Goh sprawled when he slept; Kei was glad for his king-sized bed, or he would have been clinging to the edge just to stay in it with Goh's long limbs splayed in every direction. Goh's nose twitched a bit and his mouth hung open as he snored softly. He looked ridiculous. Kei reached out and gingerly traced Goh's strong jawline with the tip of his finger, slowly trailing down over his throat, then his collarbone, stopping at his chest, which rose and fell slowly in time to his gentle snoring.

Ever since the dramatic day full of confessions, misunderstandings, and Goh's little bender, Kei and Goh had been discreetly seeing more and more of each other. The only people who knew about their relationship were Himeno and Hayate. Tonight had been the first time they spent the night together. It had been… interesting. Being that close to someone, so physically intimate, was something so alien to Kei that at first the Knight of Light was not certain that he would be able to do it at all. But Goh had been so sweet, so inviting, amazingly gentle and, most surprisingly, extremely submissive. Kei hadn't known it was possible to awaken such powerful feelings in himself, or that he had it in him to be so… dominating…

Goh gave a small gasp in his sleep and suddenly jerked awake, his eyes flashing with confusion for a moment before focusing on Kei's face, confusion melting into disbelief, and then into a dark, enticing warmth. Goh smiled. "…Hi…" He said, rather meekly, his eyes glancing down at Kei's dusky hand that still rested on his chest.

"Hi…" Kei answered, almost moving his hand but deciding better of it. He felt an odd sensation tugging at his facial features… was he… smiling? He felt Goh's hand cover his, and the younger knight's face dropped its smile, replaced by a slightly pained expression.

"Are you all right?" Kei asked. "Are you… er…." He felt his face grow hot. "….Sore?"

"I'm fine… its you I'm worried about…" Goh reached up with his free hand and touched Kei's cheek with his fingertips, his expression disconcerted. "Kei… are you… crying?"

Kei blinked, and realized that there was indeed moisture in his eyes. He hadn't even noticed. He reached up and brushed his fingertips over Goh's, which were wet from Kei's tears. "I…suppose I am…" He said, mystified. Goh's expression crumpled.

"Wh…what is it? What did I do wrong?" Goh whispered, his voice sounding desperate. He set up, propping himself up on his elbows, his warm reddish brown eyes sparkling with imminent tears of his own.

Kei didn't answer for a long moment as he slowly processed things in his head. Tears began to slip out of Goh's eyes as well, and he suddenly looked more vulnerable and desperate than ever before. "Kei…? Please tell me…" He pleaded. Goh…always eager to please. Kei closed his eyes and shook his head, and Goh whimpered out loud.

"Please… don't cry… remember what I said to you about not crying?…It's not like that…" Kei said, still with his eyes closed as the hand on Goh's chest began to move in a small circular motion, caressing both the skin of the chest over his heart and Goh's palm that still covered Kei's hand.

"Then… what is it?"

"I think…. I think that I may finally be happy…" Kei managed to croak out, after a pregnant pause. "Yes… I… I'm _happy_," He repeated, sounding almost surprised. Grasping Goh's hand, he turned to his new lover, a look of wonder on his face.

Goh's response was to throw his muscular arms around Kei's neck and pull him down to him for a kiss. "You better be happy, my little Lightbulb… cause you're stuck with me forever…"

"Lightbulb? Are you implying there is ANYTHING bulb-shaped about me?" Kei snorted as he returned Goh's kiss eagerly.

And then, a strange sound cut the air. A deep, vibrating noise was emanating from somewhere in the viscinity of Goh's jeans, which were tossed over the back of a chair in the corner of the bed. It was his cell phone; although the ringer was off, the vibration mode was ungodly loud.

"Ah… sorry… that's probably Himeno… she knew we were going out tonight, and, well… I asked her to watch the terrible trio, just in case, so she probably wants to know if we… well… you know…" Goh trailed off with a lopsided grin. "I'll let the voicemail get it…"

"No…" Kei nimbly leapt out of the bed, but walked to where the phone was at a leisurely pace. Picking up Goh's discarded jeans, he removed the cell phone from the pocket and checked the caller ID to see that it was, in fact, Himeno calling. He flipped the phone open and brought it to his ear.

"Hello, Himeno," He said coolly, and was rewarded with a startled gasp from his Pretear. Smiling, he put a finger to his lips in a shush motion, glancing over at Goh, who was trying to hold in laughter.

"…a…Kei?" Himeno began, but before she could get out more, Kei interrupted her.

"…Thank you." Kei said simply, before snapping the phone closed, and turning it all the way off. He and Goh both burst out laughing, Kei tossed the phone to the floor along with the rest of their clothing, and made his way back to the bed, and into his love's waiting arms.

* * *

Himeno blinked in surprise as Kei hung up the cell phone, but then a slow grin crossed her face. She put down her cell phone, and turned to Hayate, who was sitting next to her on the couch with a puzzled look on his face.

"I win. Five hundred yen, Hayate," She said happily, holding her hand out.

Owari


End file.
